Almost There

Things are moving along nicely - should be early next week and my biz where I am only responsible for ME will be up and running...SWEET!

I got a new puppy...a schnauzer to be exact...so cute, and she just adores me. Little girl is sure full of vinegar, tho! With that in mind, a joke for dog lovers:

'1'
Blaming your farts on me.....
not funny... not funny at all !!!

'2'
Yelling at me for barking..
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG

'3'
Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
'4'
Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

'5'
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you're not home.

'6'
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

'7'
Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting
surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

'8'
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

'9'
Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?

'10'
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things....
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!


I have decided I am not going to cut my hair...and have grown a goatee...I mean, really, who the fuck do I have to impress? Life's gettin' good...

And just one more, courtesy of a friend TB:
A man is laying in bed with his new girlfriend.

After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she seems to love to do.

Enjoying it, he turns and asks her,

'Why do you love doing that?'

She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'.

Have a happy Good Friday!