Off to the Desert - Part Deux

Last time I went to the desert, it was in Arizona...now it's off to Vegas. I enjoy the town and the excitement, but this trip isn't for pleasure, but rather business. Not that I won't probably get a few games of poker in, tho. ;-)

It's been a tough week. My mother-in-law passed, and between family and arrangements and all that, it's been kinda a whirlwind. I was at her bedside when she expired...the first time I have been witness to someone passing. I'll admit it left me a tad shaken. Mostly because when I think of her, I can't help but see her in her last few hours, morphine coursing through her veins, and mouthing the words 'help me'...yes, quite sad. But it was her time, and she goes to a better place.

My son now has a mouth full of metal. Do you know how much frickin' braces cost? It's insane. He better have a Tom Cruise kinda perfect smile for that much dough. Just not Tom's goofiness, mkay?

And hey, how bout them Mavs taking game one last night in San Antonio? Not that we'll get very far this year, but we are peaking at the right time. I just use this sport, along with baseball, to pass the time until the real games arrive - the NFL, baby.

Speaking of the NFL, Madden retired. The guy did bring a lot of popularity to the game, and it's hard to argue that he was the most prolific announcer in history (sorry Cosell)...but the last few years I do think he wasn't keeping up with the speed of the game, as I could sit in my lounger and call the tight end picking off the corner on a crossing route so a first down could be made...Madden seemed to miss those things more often than not. Maybe I'm just too technical and enjoy those little nuances. At any rate, we're now stuck with Mr. Anti-Cowboy Cris Collinsworth. Ugh...at least we still have Aikman to call the games.

And for our funny for the day...

To Employees:

As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8%. Since we cannot increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who will have to go.

So, this is what I did.

I strolled through our parking lot and found 8 Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem.

These folks wanted change; I'm giving it to them.

Sincerely,

The Boss

LMAO...the way it should be done! Yes, I'm digging the Tea Parties going on in the Nation!

Have a great week - and lets be good out there!

Almost There

Things are moving along nicely - should be early next week and my biz where I am only responsible for ME will be up and running...SWEET!

I got a new puppy...a schnauzer to be exact...so cute, and she just adores me. Little girl is sure full of vinegar, tho! With that in mind, a joke for dog lovers:

'1'
Blaming your farts on me.....
not funny... not funny at all !!!

'2'
Yelling at me for barking..
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG

'3'
Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
'4'
Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

'5'
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you're not home.

'6'
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

'7'
Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting
surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

'8'
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

'9'
Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?

'10'
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things....
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!


I have decided I am not going to cut my hair...and have grown a goatee...I mean, really, who the fuck do I have to impress? Life's gettin' good...

And just one more, courtesy of a friend TB:
A man is laying in bed with his new girlfriend.

After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she seems to love to do.

Enjoying it, he turns and asks her,

'Why do you love doing that?'

She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'.

Have a happy Good Friday!