The Opposite of Love isn't Hate, it...

...is apathy.

I say that after an exchange with someone I use to be with on a regular basis.

The short story is setting up a time to meet, then them giving me a story about their child getting out of school early, then telling me they had to work until 2 pm...and then finding out they left work before noon, had plenty of time, and had lied about it cause I just wasn't interesting enough for them, I guess. Oh well, live and learn - why should I ever expect that to change? Just as she lied on many occasions, including the many hits I got from different parts of the state and country due to all the guys she was talking to about me, as well her liasons with others she lied about - I mean, c'mon Bent, you oughtta know better.

So enough with that.

Work continues to be a beating, although yesterday's massive rally helped me feel a little better. Sure wish I would have participated more. But people are scared, and they let their emotions drive their investment decisions, instead of fact and logic. I can only do what I can do - but damn that job is getting old in a hurry.

Halloween just around the corner. My son is going as "Jackie Moon" from the movie Semi-Pro. He looks pretty funny - and I can tell you, his mind is definitely evolving into that of a teenager, along with his body - geesh, can't I just make him 3 yrs old again?

The elections are also right here, and I've went and cast my vote. Those who are repeating the mantra of 'change' better be ready when they get what they ask for...and it ain't gonna be a good thing.

My Cowboys have an important game this week, and honestly, I ain't expecting anything good. Not with BJ at QB. Nope, guess we'll have to wait til after the bye week. Hey, maybe the barbarian will rack up 200 yds and save us ;-)

All There Is?

It's monday morning, and that familiar 'ugh, another week' feeling has set in.

I am asking myself this morning is this all there is to life now? A job I don't really like and dread going into. A situation at home that seems oh-so-much less than fulfilling. The constant pressure of finances and things I am behind on.

About my only saving grace these days is my son. I am grateful that as he grows older he isn't really pulling away, but pulling closer to me. Even so, he will soon be a teenager and some of his remarks and actions reflect that. I am dealing with it much better than mom.

I usually look forward to sundays, but after the Cowboys ass-whuppin', I'm wondering if I should even feel that way. They look awful - at this rate we'll be out of the playoff hunt by December.

Well, time to quit whining and make my way into the j-o-b. Put on the game face and try to convince nervous nellie investors that life isn't about to end. Tough task given my state of mind.

Oh Marcia!

Maureen McCormick, whom we remember as Marcia Brady on the Brady Bunch, has a new memoir out. In it, she tells stories of growing up Brady, and about little things like trading sex for drugs. Whatever would Jan say? I find this stuff from actors I knew growing up to be fascinating. I haven't read the book, but I'm sure the next time I'm at Barnes and Noble, I'll be browsing through it...

Monday was a huge day for the market - the single biggest one day gain in the Dow Jones Average in 75 years. I was ecstatic...until yesterday. We gave back 733 points in stomach churning volatility, and I once again expect the calls to come flying in today from my clients. It's getting real fucking old telling them to hold on when they are taking such a beating, as is my little portfolio. But I do believe the worst is behind us, and we are going to have a monster run into the end of the year.

My football life is sucking. The Boys are now without Tony Romo, Adam Jones, Terrence Newman, Matt McBriar, and Felix Jones. We are a walking medical unit, for crying out loud. And while it is great we got Roy Williams as our receiver from the Lions, I fear we badly overpaid for him, sacrificing some of our future for the now.

I think I will head out to the State Fair of Texas this weekend. Can't really afford it, but you know, it will be something different. Going with friends so that should make it easier, as I'll have someone to enjoy the thrill rides with me.

Looking Past the Past

I said I was going to write about events in the past that led me to this point. After further thought, and talking and texting with her, the last one being just a few days ago when it was made clear to me she didn't want me involved, I have decided to let that go. I must stop looking to the past and be looking forward.

So I will use my little space here to post whatever is on my mind from time to time...my journal of all that is good, bad, and just random thoughts.

My main thought these days is how the market just keeps getting hammered, day after day. The selling is relentless, and I have to admit that it has even a bull contrarian like myself doubting a positive outcome in the days, weeks and months ahead.

Which leads me to my job, which has really sucked lately. I love the market, but what I really love is analyzing and trading the market, not handholding and playing pyschologist to those who want to reap the rewards, but don't want any of the risk involved. There may be a way to get where I want to be in that light, and it's still a work in progress...we'll see how it goes.

For now I must be off to the office before heading to the regional meeting this afternoon. I'll be staying overnite away from home, which on one hand stinks because I know how my little dude will miss me, and I him. But to do something away from the norm might be the thing to get me outta the funk that seems to be gripping me the past few weeks.