Happy New Day

The first day that I don't have to go into the office has come...oh what a nice feeling! But I have so many things I need to get taken care of in the next week, so it's not like I will be just lazying around!

My timeframe is right on target thus far...

And lemme just say - I absolutely adore my close friends! Always there, always supportive...they're few and far between, but those that I am close with can always count on me to be there for them, too.

And now for the funny of the day...and how appropriate, given the fact the stock market and some drug stocks are in the news...

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of ' cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Luck O' The Irish

Happy St. Paddy's Day! Time to go drink some green beer...but now that Bennigan's is closed, where to go do just that?

Saw the movie 'The Watchmen' this past weekend. Do NOT waste your money on it...just an awful flick. Bad storyline, discombobulated, poor acting...you name it. There is 3 hours of my life I will never get back.

And it's spring break...don't you wish in our adult lives we just had spring break? Take a week off, be lazy, goof off...oh wait, I all ready do that! ;-)

Appropriate given the Obama administration's policies, today's funny...

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed
by 15 kids.

'WOW!' the social worker exclaims. 'Are
they all yours?''

'Yep, they are all mine,' the flustered momma
sighs, having heard that question a thousand times
before.

She says, 'Sit down Leroy.' All the children
rush to find seats.
> >
> > 'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you
> must be here to sign up. I'll need all your
> children's names.'
> >
> > 'Well, to keep it simple, the boys are all named
> 'Leroy and the girls are all named
> 'Leighroy'.'
> >
> > In disbelief, the case worker asked, "Are you
> serious?They're ALL named Leroy?"
> >
> > Their momma replied, "Well, yes -- it makes it
> easier. When it's time to get them out of bed and ready
> for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' And when it's
> > time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an'
> they all comes a runnin'. An'if I need to stop the
> kid who's running into the street, I just yell
> Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea
> I ever had, namin' them all Leroy."
> >
> >
> >
> > The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then
> > wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But
> what if you just want ONE kid to come, and
> > not the whole bunch?"
> >
> > "Then I call them by their last names.."

Mr and Mrs Client

From the Urban Dictionary:

"Bent Edge = Stoner ass fuck, fucks everything but rocks, drinks as long as it contains alcohol."

Hmm...I resemble that definition.

Don't look now, but no sooner than I post my previous rant about the stock market being crap and things lit up. Always zigging when I'm zaggin'...what's a guy to do? Just go with the flow, I guess, because given how every rally seems to eventually fail, one can't completely hop on the bandwagon. Looking out over the next several years, tho, I can see materially higher prices...

Speaking of that, and again pointing to a post I had made a little while back, my timeframe for moving along is quickly approaching. The thing I am most looking forward to? Not having to talk with people and convince them to do the right thing because they're terrified. I can't blame them for being scared given the state of the economy and markets, but logic and reason fails to get through to some of these dolts.

Example of a conversation:

"Mr. Smith, I know things look bad out there and the market has been tanking, but do you need this money next year?"

"No."

"Ok, this is for your retirement in 20 years or so, right?"

"Yep."

"All right then, lets use an analogy. Do you think your home will be valued at substantially more than it is right now?"

"Yeah, I would hope so. Probably."

"Ok, so if someone thinks your home is worth less right now, and it were 30% underwater on the price, would you sell it because of that?"

"Of course not."

"Ok, then why are you wanting to sell now?"

"Because it could go even lower. When things get better and they start going back up, I will get in and buy then."

"Well, things could go lower in the near future; on that I agree with you. But to use another analogy, would you go to Best Buy looking for a big screen TV and say, 'I want to buy that, but it is only $1500...I'll wait until it goes back up to $2000 and then buy it'...So you want to pay retail instead of getting it while it is on sale?"

"Well...no...but I'm just going to sell what I have and wait for things to turn around."

{Exasperated} "Ok, well, we'll just keep an eye on things and see how it goes."

Welcome to my world where fear is a more powerful emotion than greed, and those same folks will want to get in after the market has run up 40% from current levels. History is on my side, here...I could go into many stats about what the market does the following periods after periods like we have just gone through. But again, logic and reason won't overcome emotion.

It's gonna be a good day when I no longer have to depend on those investors to be able to buy a hotdog at the local 7-11...

And did you see where HBO is apologizing for showing the sacred marriage ritual in the temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints? Apparently it caused an uproar, but quite frankly, I don't get it. What's the big deal? It's not like you can't find that information anyway, and if it is so out of the norm, and you're scared of what people would think of it, wouldn't you change some of the things about it? Whatever...

Ahh, lets see if I have a funny for the day in my bag...

A man is sitting beside his girlfriend on the couch watching television. Feeling the rise in his jeans, he taps his girlfriend on the shoulder. She turns to him as he raises his eyebrows and says, "Let me get some of that!"

She replies, "Well, no, I have a gynecologist appointment in the morning. I want to be fresh."

He turns away for a moment, then taps her on the shoulder again.

"Do you have dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"

Musings

It finally happened. We rid ourselves of the cancer that was T.O. To say that Terrell Owens was a pain in the ass is a big understatement. After letting future prisoner #06785 (otherwise known as Adam Jones, aka Pacman) go, we were able to shed another piece of crap in T.O. and let Miles Austin step up and shine at the other wideout alongside Roy Williams. Oh, and the other Roy Williams is history, too. Great hitter, but his coverage skills were deplorable! Movin' on...

The show "The Apprentice" featuring everyone's favorite bigmouth without adding any value, one Donald Trump, is back on the air. We might call it "B-Listers bickermania", but nevertheless, it is entertaining to watch the has-beens go back and forth and badmouth each other. In the latest episode, Scott Hamill got the boot, though the one who really should have gotten it was Dennis Rodman. They were trying to come up with a comic book hero for an online shopping site, and Rodman's suggestion was a transvestite who could morph back and forth. Gee, that's surprising that assclown would come up with that! They seem to have it in for Clint Black, the country star. And while I'm not a huge fan of his, he has more brains than several of the bozos on the men's team combined. I'm predicting they will find a way to cut him loose next.

The stock market just keeps on sliding. When some pundits were proposing that the S&P 500 could fall to 500, I laughed and call it moronic. I said there is no way we would even fall to 600. But here we sit with that index at 675 or so, and the Dow hovering around 6500. Folks, that is simply amazing. To put it in perspective, during the great crash of 1929, the Dow fell some 56% in 16 months (before eventually falling 89.5% when that bear market finally ended.) We are 16 months into this slide, and we're sitting around a 54% decline using that same index. Incredible. For those with an investment horizon longer than a year or two, one should be buying the shit outta this. But hey, I've thought that for 3 or 4 months now, so what do I know?

And for the funny of the day...

A man was sitting in his bedroom when his wife walked in wearing a skimpy nighty.

She told him, "Tie me up and you can do anything you want!"

So he tied her up, screwed her sister, and went fishing.