Ten Things

Ok, so The Blazing One hit me up with the pass-along thing, and ONLY because it is Mistress Blaze will I play along (ya hear that, woman?!)...

I'm supposed to list 10 honest, and interesting things about myself and pass it along to 7 others. Hell, I don't know 7 others in the blogsphere any more, so I'll spare MOST of you some pain. Here's my 10:

1) I just finished jacking off. Nice...and at my old office, I wanked my wood on more than one occasion in the bathroom.

2) I'm a dipper. I love over easy eggs, and I dip my toast in them to soak up the yolk before devouring the rest of it. People who cut up over easy eggs have always made me wonder...

3) Many moons ago, I got out of the US Navy by throwing my chair at the XO. For those who have served in the military, you know that usually entails a court martial of sorts, or at the least, some restriction. I never received anything other than a trip to the 5th floor to be evaluated for 'mental anguish'. The truth is, I was a personnelman and knew every way to get out the Navy with an honorable discharge and that is the route I chose - 'incompatibility with military life' was the final diagnosis. The other way (back then) was to act gay and perform an act. I wasn't going there. One of the top 5 days of my life when I got out.

4) I have only had one 3-some. What's worse, it was with my best friend in high school and I double-teaming on a girl. Nooo...none of our parts touched! Truth is, we kinda took turns, and it wasn't full-tilt bozo action. I never actually did tap that girl...

5) I grew up on a farm in the midwest. And there were times when one was out in the field or away from the house that you had to do your business. On a few occasions, I wiped my ass with leaves, and I remember using a corn cob once. There is a reason Charmin holds a very special place in my heart.

6) I still have dreams of being a fry cook in high school. My wife has told me she has heard me say some shit in my sleep about it. It was kinda a Denny's type place, and I really did enjoy it. Hell, I remember working the graveyard and doing one of the hot, albeit completely goofy, waitresses as customers waited out front for their post-drunk breakfasts. Ahh, good times...

7) I have slept with one of my wife's current best friends...and no, she hasn't the slightest.

8) At my old firm where I served as a portfolio manager/analyst/trader, I lost $85k on my very first trade. My boss must have thought, who the hell is this clown I just hired? I can even remember that piece of shit stock, AVNX. Luckily, all my trades weren't that bad.

9) I briefly spoke with Jerry Jones of the Cowboys once when he was walking into Sevy's in Dallas. I told him thank you for picking up Anthony Henry as a free agent to be a cover corner for us. He said thanks and appreciated it, asked if me and my friends were having a good time, and moved along. I wish I could go back and tell him what a dumbass he was for picking up Henry and how much he sucks and should be let go.

10) The last one gets a 'double'...When I was in training classes in Arizona earlier this year, I was known somewhat as the life of the party. I was secretly proud when some of my compradres there referred to me as "The Michael Phelps of drinking." What's more, an attractive female with an obvious tilt towards the zany loved me for it, and I could have shagged it. Alas, I didn't - total fucking dumbass! But only because when we retired to the room with one of the instructors, he had the same thing on his mind, and I didn't want to be a total fucktard, so I just walked away and went to my room. No need to fuck up my lame career early on, right? I found out the next morning she didn't want to go there with him, but me... Ahh...blown chances...but I'll live to fight another day ;-)

And as for passing this along, I am only going to give it to one guy...one of the first guys I read on the blogs. A guy who has entertained all of us many times with his stories of the past...So c'mon Trashy, lets hear it...

If I have the opportunity to post on the last day of the year, I will do so. But in the event I don't have that chance, may the new year bring ya'll much happiness and all the things you desire. Lord knows 2008 sucked ass, and I'm soooo looking forward to 2009...I have a plan...