Not Tonight

Another day. Another frickin' whacking to the market. GM and Ford fixing to be body bags, along with all the employees and related jobs with it. Man, maybe I DO need to go invest in guns and ammo.

Received the following from a friend of mine. And yes, SHE forwarded it to me...don't hate the messenger ;-)

When Girls Don't Put Out!

I have never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For Example:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, " What? What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off from work and spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we would just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited! She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "NO honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Bada bing!

And it's a special time right now. In just a few days, my girl turns 21. Yep, I sure am an old fuck. I sure do hope she acts her age...history has shown she can revert to the sweet sixteen years a bit too often...

Now, dammit, stock market...GO UP for a change, will ya?!!!